How to Talk to Women Explained

When it comes to talking to women it really is quite surprising how many guys around find this a very difficult thing to do. It really is all PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!!!!

The primary reason why so many guys do find this difficult is simply that they really just don’t get enough practice and this is why knowing how to talk to girls can sometimes become of a daunting thought. The more than you let this thought manifest itself creating a kind of snowball effect the more that this can become more and more of an issue for you!

The main issue for a lot of guys is that they really lose confidence and they get rusty with meeting women. This means that even when it comes to knowing how to attract a girl they almost need to completely reset and think of new ideas and methods.

There are many different ways to improve this but one of the best ways is really to immerse oneself in this environment to start to rebuild confidence. After a while this sort of thing will become like second nature and it is from here that we go from a shy retiring type to someone that is full of confidence and outgoing with great patter for the ladies!

There are also some great bits of advice for people online, in various guys magazines and also videos online to help with such issues. One of the common things that you will probably hear time and time again is to really start to try and focus on your own appearance when it comes to talking to women. By looking after yourself a bit better and paying more attention to grooming and appearance, this in itself with help when it comes to talking to women. There are many many other things that one can do and something we will revisit in more depth in a future post!



Finding a new girlfriend in London

London is one of the busiest cities in the world and sometimes finding yourself a new girlfriend is not the easiest of tasks as although such a busy city, more often than not people do not take the time out to put effort into meeting someone new

There are however for those serious about meeting a new girlfriend, various good options in London when it comes to the dating scene. One can choose from so many different options in the capital whether they are into speed dating, online dating and also your old style dating agencies, the UK and London in particular literally does have it all.

Many people that6 are out of practice with the whole dating scene can however find this a very daunting prospect and this is the reason that so many in this day and age will opt for professional help with the process. This is usually in the form of a life coach, dating guru or an all-round confidence coach who can help and share strategies to enable you to finally enjoy success with dating.

They will go through a whole heap of things with you to assist you with this quest and this will be things like how to improve your body language and also down to things like the best way to kiss a girl, how to approach a female and all sorts of things that although may sound very simple and straightforward to a lot of people, to some that are low in confidence or are struggling with the process this type of assistance really can be a godsend

Finding someone like this really does require a few internet searches but the upside potential is huge and really can be the difference between meeting someone and not!

How To Seduce A Woman

How To Seduce A Woman – Seduction Tips That Work

Most men on the planet would love to believe that they are the best at being a lover, best at seducing a woman and best at being that perfect man.  Trouble is that over 95% of men have no real idea how to seduce women.  If you REALLY want to know how to seduce a woman (see HERE) then please read on because it’s actually way simpler than what you were thinking.

In a nutshell, a woman needs to be seduced with her mind as that is how she thinks.  If you want to get straight to her heart and touch upon her inner urges then you need to work on seducing her mind.  Below are easy to follow seduction techniques that quite simply work.

How to seduce a girl – in simple steps

Here’s the golden rule.  Girls hold the key and the power is within them to decided when they will become your next partner or lover.  You can not ever make this happen, but you can go a long way to convince her that you are the right one for her, and this is the difference.  Once you understand her mind then you will suddenly step in front of 95% of men when it comes to winning in the love stakes.  This is the most important of all seduction tips you can ever choose to remember.

Starter tip:

What are you thinking about her?  Don’t let her know!

A girl will be desperately trying to understand what it is that you are thinking.  Do you like her?  Do you like her looks or the way she laughs or talks?  Do you like her more than just friends?

She will be really keen to know and for as long as you withhold this, she will become more and more anxious to know.

It all reverts back to the old “you want more of what you can’t have”.  Remember when you were a kid and wanted an ice cream from the ice cream van on a hot Summer’s day?  Your mum said no, but outside all the other kids were happily scoffing away at their tempting treats.

So as a many if we want to make a woman desire us insanely then we have to employ some of these techniques.  Women have been using these simple methods on us for centuries.

While men are almost entirely attracted to a physical form and will usually drool and fantasize about a girls physical assets women are the complete opposite so if you attempt to woo a girl using comments about her body then you are almost certainly destined to fail.

“give her attention” so she can see what its like then withdraw that attention.. so she wants it….

How to seduce women

Seduction is all about paying attention to a girl and her needs and moving forward accordingly when the moment is right.  If you really want to do this right and want to seduce a woman, spend time getting to know her (even though your caveman instincts want to drag her back to your cave for some “fun”), set an appropriate atmosphere, and move slowly with her while getting physical.  She will be driven wild with anticipation.

Women are typically more attracted to a strong personality, power and often status too. Because of this, you ideally need to have at least one of these traits before you even start trying to seduce your dream girl.  If you haven’t then fear not.  Just keep working and trying over and over using these techniques.

While most men believe that the girls prefer the “good looking guy”, the truth is that, while yes looks do play a part, and there has to be some attraction there, a girl is more interested in a man’s charm.  So if you look like the hunchback of Notre Damme, but can  make a girl laugh you’re well on to your way to success.  I’m sure many of us have seen this in real life.  An awkward looking guy being able to sit and chat with a bunch of girls and have them all laughing.

If you simply cannot grasp the ideas behind these seduction tips, then here are several pointers that will move you closer.  Let’s take a closer look!

Create an Emotional Connection.

Most women want to connect with a man on an emotional level, so you have to make sure that the scene is set just right and she feels connected to you.  There is no way that she is going to fall into your arms (and bed) if you are simply trying to impress her with your big biceps and obvious “package”.  If there isn’t that mental connection then forget it!

She needs to know that you’re her type.  In her mind she wants to be romanced by a smart(or rough) guy who can take care of her and make her feel special.  Someone who works hard and holds strong values about things.

Any woman who says she can have sex without getting emotionally attached is lying. It is a fact that sex is a very emotional act for women and as such, you have to make her connect with you on an emotional level if you want to seduce her in the end. If you don’t, then you will never be able to seduce her. It’s as simple as that.

Look Your Best Inside and Out.

Learning how to seduce a woman takes a few simple steps. Someone who looks their best on both the inside as well as the outside will go a long way.

In other words, always make yourself as smart as you can, but more importantly they want to see a smart guy on the inside too.  Someone who is polite and courteous.  Someone who doesn’t get involved in aggression or fighting and someone who is both charming and charismatic. Those are some of the traits that women find simply irresistible nowadays.

Don’t be a perv!

The last thing a girl wants to see is your eyes wandering up and down her body with your extraordinarily large smile, as you try and adopt the super-cool del-boy trotter leaning on the bar type of pose.

Value her dignity

The last thing a girl wants is a man who is going to go straight back to his mates and share his “sexperience” with you and them.  No girl wants this and is one of the quickest ways to getting you out of the door, so be sure to let her know that what you and she share together is just for your eyes only and nobody else.

Make her feel safe and happy to be around you.

Most women are switched on right from the start that “most men” want one thing – to get them into bed.  Therefore you really must spend the time getting to know her first without any sorts of hints.  Along the way you do need to throw in a few “longing” glances, a bit if flirting here and there to let her know you are most definitely interested – if you are too friendly then she may simply decide to keep you in her “friend” zone.

So let’s start out with an imaginary date.  Or an imaginary scene where you see a girl and give you an example of how to seduce a woman.

Taking it slowly in the beginning is KEY.

It’s all about timing and getting things right.  If you jump in and look her up and down and you’re on a one way road out of there.  Part of what makes a person want another person is the anticipation. When you see a woman you’re interested in, you need to temper your caveman urges.

Start out with some longing glances and a smile.  Wait a bit to approach her and when you do it is important that you start off by listening more than you talk. The last thing you want to be doing is revealing your intention right away.  The aim here is to be different to most “cave-men” and make her wonder what you are all about.  It’s a great thing when you master this and mix it in with smiles and glances because her mind will be doing overtime trying to figure you out.

Next dress to impress, especially if you are at a party.  If you don’t have anything flattering get yourself to a local store and ask them to help you choose something flattering.  The main point here to take away is to be yourself and not try to be somebody you are not.


Yep one of the best things you can do is listen to a woman.  Girls love anyone who is genuinely interested in them.  Try and ask more questions than you answer. Remember that air of “what is he all about” will be hanging around you and she will be trying to figure out what kind of guy you are.  The first sign of cheesiness and she will have you pigeon holed along with all the other men right away -”yep he is just like the rest”.

Remember she needs to know you are listening too!  Watch her, nod and go along with the conversation.  Ask follow up questions and she will love the conversation.  Just goes to show women and men are different.  They prefer the conversation, the build up, the suspense and the “art” where men just prefer the physical.  That is how it is for most and we just need to know how to do things in the right way in order to be more successful.

Be confident

If you lack in confidence you need to draw on things you are good at.  Think of these things while you are talking to her.  Remember at this stage she doesn’t not know you so you have every right to be there.  If you feel nervous when talking and are wondering what to say, remember what you are good at.  So for example you may think to yourself “I’m really good at DIY”, or “I’m a brilliant writer”.  These feelings should reinforce your own confidence.

Don’t be over-confident or brag but be sure to be confident in how you talk.  There is a fine line between the two!

Make her laugh!  If you have a brilliant sense of humour then this alone can go an extremely long way so if you aren’t naturally funny try and memorise some great jokes you see on Youtube or hear among friends.  The kinds of jokes that everyone laughs at.  The kinds of jokes that are not too dirty too!  One liners can often be great ice breakers.

Subtle skin-on skin and body language

Stand confidently when talking to her.  Head high, shoulders  back and smiling.  Forget about folded arms or drinks held across your chest.  Push it out and look confident.

Find ways to “accidentally” touch her, in small but subtle ways.  Lead her around the bar by grabbing her hand or guide her to a chair by placing your hand on the small of her back.  You are attempting to get her to be more comfortable with your touch (slowly and gently).

Pick up lines might help.  Don’t use any with sexual innuendos.  Instead go for some mild humour, or something that lets them know a bit more about you.  Remember though that a pick up line alone is no good.  You need to follow it up with conversation.  So an example would be to think of something that let’s them know about you or your work and this can then lead them into a conversation.

For example if you are a doctor you might say “I think it might be you that’s making my temperature increase”.

So let’s say that by now conversation so far has gone well and you’d like to invite her over to your place.  You will need to incorporate some more seduction techniques.

Create the right atmosphere

Use smell to your advantage. Open windows for a few hours before she comes.  Try and ensure some nice neutral smells are around.  Plug in air fresheners, or Vanilla lightly placed around.

A bit of music can go a long way.  Forget “slow and sexual” Barry White but something along the lines of what she likes, but ideally a touch slower in tempo.

Candles and mood lighting will help set the right mood, especially if she is a little nervous.

Be sure to give the house a really good clean round before she comes.

If things progress well and she is giving you all the right signals – feet facing you, dilated pupils and showing interest it’s time to up your seduction techniques.. a bit.

Try and sit closer to her.  Place your hand on her knee or shoulder.  Take it steady.

If things are still going well then lean in for a kiss.  Slow and steady.  She needs to feel safe when with you.

The first kiss needs to be a very gentle and tender kiss.  More like a peck rather than a full on “tongue down throat” affair.

As things progress pay close attention to her erogenous zones.  These parts of the body send her wild with desire.  The neck and ears respond well to a gently kiss and your warm breath.  The head and feet are also wonderful erogenous zones for many women.   Don’t be afraid to offer a head or foot massage.

Pay close attention to her lips.  Nibble, suck and kiss them gently.  Pay closer attention to her lower back, inner thighs and stomach.  Many women get intense sensual pleasure when being touched here.

Keep up the slow and steady pace (slow is definitely better!)

She will let you know when she likes something so take it steady and you will work her into a frenzy.  It is important you keep up the momentum when seducing the girl.  Keep performing slow and sensual moves and you will enjoy an amazing experience together that few people truly share.  Not only that but you will be forever in her mind.

Good luck and try and learn as many of these as you can.  It will make a huge difference.

Dirty Chat Up Lines – A Collection Of The Best Chat Up Lines

Dirty Chat Up Lines – A Collection Of The Best Chat Up Lines

So, most men are aware of “chat up lines” be them dirty chat up lines, sexy chat up lines, or rubbish chat up lines.  Most women will be aware of them and be readily prepared with their automated responses to cheap one lines that do or don’t work.

As men what we want to know are the chat up lines that work so that we can incorporate them into our repertoire when chatting with “the ladies”.  Naturally we want the best chat up lines we can.

Let’s start out with a list of some of the cheesiest (yet arguably funniest) chat up lines that you could add to your arsenal.  These are the kinds of chat up lines that you mention to your “mates”, who then reply with a laud applause, yet they may not always go down a hit the the girls.

However the good news is that in the early days you do not know what a girl is like.  If you try out one of these dirty chat up lines and she laughs then follow up with another, or go straight into a light hearted conversation and introduction.

So if you’re ready let’s dive straight into some truly funny pick up lines that might just put a smile on your face for the rest of the day.  Ultimately a “chat up line” is pretty much going to be a “one-liner and see how she takes it” affair and if it works as a great ice breaker then move on to the “hi my name is…”.  If you can make a woman laugh then you will always have her heart!

These chat up lines for women are ranked in order of “tame through to downright dirty!”

Tame-ish chat up lines:

  • I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bedrock
  • My names _____. Just so you know what to scream.
  • I would tell you a joke about my thing….buts its too long
  • Oh, you like sleeping?….Me too! We should do it together sometime!
  • What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
  • How about you be my story and I’ll be your climax?
  • I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours
  • Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
  • If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.
  • You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
  • Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
  • I own the best roller coaster in town, wanna ride it?
  • I’m a business man I work in orifices… got any openings?
  • Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
  • That dress would look great on my floor
  • Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
  • They call me “the fireman” because I turn the hoes on
  • Guy: let’s role-play, you be a magic carpet I’ll be Aladdin, now let me ride your magic carpet
  • That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
  • Are you from Japan because I’d like to get in japanties
  • You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
  • What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zip.
  • Do you like to draw? Because I’m gonna put the D in Raw
  • How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
  • I’m no weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight…
  • Hell! Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice!
  • Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
  • Come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that “pops up”
  • Are you a waitress? Cause I’m gonna give you more than just the tip.
  • I don’t know much about pies, but you sure do know how to make my banana cream
  • Can you help me? My snake is stuck in my pants and wants to see you.
  • Remember my name. you’ll be screaming it later.
  • Do you like lollipops? Cause I’ll take you to my candy shop
  • I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
  • Damn baby are you my new boss? Cause you just gave me a raise
  • I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
  • I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!
  • Remember my name. you’ll be screaming it this night.
  • I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?
  • Those are very heavy can I hold them for you?
  • How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll give you the meat
  • Are you a Jedi? Because I swear my light saber felt a disturbance in the force
  • Baby I want to let it snow all over your twin peaks
  • Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
  • Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
  • Wow! Are those real?
  • Are you cute?
  • I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  • I have a job for you, but it blows!
  • Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.
  • I’m easy. Are you?
  • As long as I have a face, you always have a place to sit.
  • My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.

Downright dirty chat up lines!

  • Do you want to see something swell?
  • Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my wand?
  • Are you a mechanic? because you should be screwing me…
  • The FBI wants to steal my p****. Can I hide it inside your thing?
  • You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you.
  • Are you cold? You should be; you’ve been naked in my mind all night.
  • I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
  • Are you bored? Cause I really want to do something to you…
  • So, Is it safe to say I’m gonna score?
  • The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
  • You’re just like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
  • Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
  • Let’s go back to my room and do some Math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
  • Could you do me a favour? Could you get on your knees and smile like a doughnut?
  • Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
  • Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me couple blows!
  • Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now it U!
  • I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragging balls across your face tonight.
  • Are you a horse? (No) Can I ride you anyway?
  • Nice legs…what time do they open?
  • Oh your on your period? That’s o.k. Babe, Pirates aren’t afraid to sail the Red Sea.
  • Thanks for you number, mines 69.
  • Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.
  • There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
  • Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.
  • Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
  • Do you take Visa?
  • Let’s play titanic I’ll play iceberg and you’ll go down.
  • I’d take all the chairs away just to have you sit on my face tonight

So there are more than enough cheesy pick up lines for you to choose from in that lot!  Try a few out depending on how you think she will respond.  If she responds with witty one liners herself then try another or go straight in for the introduction.

These are meant for fun and for many are often great ways to break the ice when it comes to meeting girls in random places.  Pubs/clubs etc. are often funny places to try these out

How to Know if a girl likes you

How To Know If A Girl Likes You – 7 Signs

Taking the plunge to pluck up courage and “speak” to a girl (omg!) can be incredibly daunting but at some point you have to be bold and go for it.  So decide you are simply just going to chat for a minute or two and then leave.  If things go well then so be it and carry things on, but this “short chat” is brief enough for you to give it a chance of talking to her.

Just pop over and say hi.  Try and strike up conversation about something you may have in common (maybe a dorky teacher if at school), or a funny act on last night’s x Factor for example.

One “immediate sign you can look out for is a smile..  yep a solid smile.  If she isn’t interested then she is likely going to keep looking elsewhere, not really engaging with you, and sitting with legs crossed, pointing away from you.

If things seem like she is happy for you to be there then you need to look for signs.  When a girl likes you she will give off little tell-tale signals.  Your job as an educated man is to understand women and these signals just a little bit more than you have been doing.  Even just a  small increase in your understanding can make massive differences in your love life successes.

Have you ever given thought to what these signs might be?  For a start she is not going to stand there stroking her body parts, licking her lips and pouting seductively while re-enacting famous Marilyn Monroe poses (as many men might fantasize about).  For a woman, it is more on an intellectual level.  The good news is that there are several classic signals women give of that are easy to discern if you take the time to look for them.

Sign 1:  She tells her friends about you.

If you REALLY want to learn how to know if a girl likes you (see here) then one of the most common signs that a girl likes you is if she discusses “you” with her friends.  From her point of view, she is gaining affirmation from her friends that you are a nice guy, and one that they (and her family) would approve of.

If the girl you like tells you that she has been discussing you with her friends, or you even hear from her friends that she has been talking about you, then you are pretty much on to a strong chance of developing the friendship into something more serious.  This is one of the best classic signals that you should remember.

Sign 2: She finds you funny, and also your rubbish jokes!

The girl you are seeing will make the effort to try and let you know that she likes “everything about you”.  So when you are whipping out your dads old joke book and trying to impress her, you are definitely on to a winner if you think they are cheesy, yet she is laughing at them.  She doesn’t have to like the jokes, but what she is doing is subtly letting you know that she likes everything about you!

Sign 3: Touchy feely is good! 

Want to know how to tell if a girl likes your body language?  There are some simple signs a girl likes your body language.  For a start, if you are facing her and talking, look at how she is standing.  If she is standing pretty much full on to you, feet facing you then this is a superb sign that she is interested in, and keen to enjoy the rest of your time together.

If, on the other hand she is half facing you and her feet are pointing away from you then she is being quite reserved, so in this instance you should just concentrate on being yourself and trying to maker her laugh if it is the right situation to do so.

In addition to this, a girl who is digging you will be a fair bit “full on” with the touchy feely stuff.  Let’s look at this.  For a start she will be keen to stand quite close to you  (being in your personal space and being comfortable around you).  She will often squeeze your arm gently when you are talking to, greeting her or making her laugh.

This is girl-flirting at it’s very best!  She will actively be seeking out reasons to touch you.  It may be a misplaced hand on your thigh, or your shoulder etc. so all you need to do is watch out for these and know that things are generally going well if this is happening.  Continue to do what you are doing, and if you can make her laugh along the way it will go a very long way.

Sign 4:  She wants to be around you.. a lot!

Think about it.  If you are on her mind then she will be thinking about you and looking forward to seeing you and being with you again.  She may be calling or texting you for various random reasons, or if you happen to meet in a crowded room, have your eyes sharply focused for when she enters, as if she gives YOU that first “all important” glance it means that you’ve definitely been on her mind!

For a woman, these signs are glaringly obvious yet the truth is that most men are blissfully unaware that she is pushing these signs out to you for you to “sit up and take notice”.  If you can identify these signs then you will be well in front of most men in the love stakes.

Sign 5:  Invisible communication, baby!

There are lot’s more signs that a girl likes you.  Many of them are invisible and require no voice.  In fact most women use invisible signals.  How many women do you know would say to you on a first date “you are gorgeous and I want to start seeing you more often”.  What is really going to happen is she is going to smile, face you, laugh at your poor jokes, point her feet towards you and a number of other invisible signals.

One thing she will do is indicate what she’d like to be doing to your lips, by “preparing” her lips.  It’s more of a subconscious thing.  If she wants to be kissing your lips then she will be touching or biting and licking her lips to make sure they are moist.  She is silently indicating what she would like to do to your lips.  You may not notice these signs until right before the moment is right to actually go in for a kiss!

Think about it, if you see her touching and licking her lips, what will you be thinking?  You would be wanting to dive right in, and on a subconscious level that is what she is telling you!

Sign 6: Get them curls all tidied up girl!

A girl who is into you will be touching and correcting her hair from time to time.  On a subconscious level when a girl likes you she will be trying to make sure every last curl is in place.  This stems back to the moments before they meet you on a date.  They will often be checking and correcting their appearance, perhaps in a compact mirror to make sure they’ve made the very best of themselves.

During a date you may notice her playing with her hair, twirling her hair with her fingers or making sure it’s in the right place all the time.

Sign 7:  The eyes say it all!

You need to be at the top of your game but it’s well worth you spending time looking at a girls eyes.  So the next time you are seeing a girl, pay real close attention to what is happening.  You can learn how to know if a girl likes you by simply looking at her eyes.

Her pupils will be dilated (i.e. larger and wider) and she will be looking into your eyes “often”.  Now the reason you need to be at the top of your game is because many times she will quickly “look away” when you stare at her, and then she will quickly look back at you.  This may be down to shyness or how she wishes to come across.

So the next time you see her with wide pupils, and she is smiling and gazing at you, offer her a compliment on her clothes or her eyes or something else (not sexual though!).  Remember you need to try and be that man who is genuinely interested in getting to know her and what she is all about.  If you can master this then you will already be ahead of 90% of the male population who often think with their…!

How to be more confident – The Definitive Guide

How To Be More Confident – The Definitive Guide

So, when your walking and talking like you are shy, awkward and have little self belief, is it any wonder that girls are not going to show any interest in you?  If you want to learn how to be more confident then continue to read what may well be a rare and real “eye opener”.

We’ve all seen those guys who seem to have it all.  They have the charisma, charm  and generally have the pick of any woman they want.  If you know a few you may have tried to be a bit more like them but never really falling into the same category.

Good news.  I am going to show you how to change, and it’s far easier than you could ever have imagined.  Not only that it will come easily and if followed, you will soon be talking to girls of all types with complete confidence and showing them why they should want to date you!

Have you ever had thoughts like the following:

“I always fancied Sarah Blatherwick but she hung around with the “in crowd” and I was part of the geek crowd.. way down on her pecking list”.

“That girl in the Pet store is gorgeous.  I’d love to ask her out for a drink but she will probably laugh at me behind my back and I won’t be able to go in there ever again”

“I wish I could walk over to a girl, full of confidence, a big beaming smile, be all masculine and chat to her, but things would be further from the truth.”

“I am short/fat/ugly/bald/got bad teeth.  She is a really lovely girl and I don’t deserve her.  I’d probably make her really unhappy”.

“I should just face facts and pick someone who is happy to be with me even if they’re not the kind of girl I would usually go for.”

“Perhaps I’m not meant to be with anyone.  I’m definitely better as a friend than a partner”

“I don’t know how to date.  I always mess things up so there is no way I dare to ever talk to that girl”

How to become more confident

Do you know, that 99% of the limits are ones that you have self-learned years ago.  Yep, your current state is due to “you”.  You might have had a single rejection years ago and been so badly affected by it that you never tried to talk to another girl again.

Someone may have called you fat or ugly as a child and this may have stuck with you and affected your confidence when it came to other areas of your life.  All the time you are spiralling down in confidence levels.

So now we know how things can form at an early age we need to look at how you can develop confidence.

Here are a series of things you can do to help you learn how to talk with confidence, improve self-esteem and learn how to stop being shy.  These things all hold you back in life form leading a rich and fulfilling life you can remember for the rest of your life.

Step 1:  Expect to be successful

Ok so this may be hard for you to get your head around, but it all starts with the tiniest of smallest of micro successes you can find and keep on having them day in day out…  By magic things do begin to get better and your confidence levels increase.

Think about it.  As a child, you may have had a friend who was great at football, or programming or swimming.  Way better than you.  With time they became to top of their class and everyone expected them to win or come out on top.

So if you used to practice jiggling as a child over and over and get better and better, eventually your confidence levels soar because “being good at it” becomes the norm.  An every day occurrence.

So what you need to do is find the successes in every waking part of your day and you’ll notice over time that they increase.

Confidence comes from success.  That’s why seasoned stage speakers can be very charismatic on stage and speak with authority.  You have to know your stuff and live and breathe it.  So whenever you accomplish something small in your life, smile and say “I’m pretty good at xxx”.

Step 2: Practice confidence

Most of us have some confidence in some things but not in others.  That is how it is for most people on the planet.  You need to be able to draw on your feelings of confidence that you feel when in other situations.  So when you are wanting to chat up a girl, try and recall that feeling you get when you are good at “something”  (juggling or a funky dance perhaps!).

Just remember that it is better to approach her to want to get to know her, rather than wanting to undress her the very first night.  Most girls know what most guys are like so they will find it refreshingly different when you come across as wanting to have a proper conversation with her.

If you feel awkward, and start to clam up when talking to girls, or meeting people for the first time, it will show in the way you act, talk and look.  You may come across with hunched shoulders, looking down.  Instead try and imagine what a confident person would say or do or how they would act.  Remember the other person will not know you, so if your head is going crazy when you shake their hand or say hello to them, trying to come across confident in a way that a confident person would.  In other words “act like the confident person”.

Above all remember a wise old quote from Gandhi.  “No one can hurt me without my consent”.  Learning how to be more confident is not an easy overnight fix, but you simply need to re-learn how to be good at things and then take it from there.  Much the same as you did when you were a kid.

Step 3:  Write it down

A lot of life’s issues and lack of confidence stems from having many thoughts running through our heads.  There may only be 3 to 5 major issues that we think we cannot do, but when left to ferment in your head they cause more damage.

Write them down onto paper.  That way they are committed to a list of things to tackle.  Somehow it is easier to tackle a list when written down.  Don’t forget to scribble it out when you’ve completed that task.  If you’re not sure how to, then break down the bigger issue into a series of smaller steps that you can do in order to achieve the bigger step.  This brings with it a sense of accomplishment and “confidence” that you just did something out of your comfort zone.  Aaaah did I just say “increased confidence”?  Yes I did.