Dirty Chat Up Lines – A Collection Of The Best Chat Up Lines

Dirty Chat Up Lines – A Collection Of The Best Chat Up Lines

So, most men are aware of “chat up lines” be them dirty chat up lines, sexy chat up lines, or rubbish chat up lines.  Most women will be aware of them and be readily prepared with their automated responses to cheap one lines that do or don’t work.

As men what we want to know are the chat up lines that work so that we can incorporate them into our repertoire when chatting with “the ladies”.  Naturally we want the best chat up lines we can.

Let’s start out with a list of some of the cheesiest (yet arguably funniest) chat up lines that you could add to your arsenal.  These are the kinds of chat up lines that you mention to your “mates”, who then reply with a laud applause, yet they may not always go down a hit the the girls.

However the good news is that in the early days you do not know what a girl is like.  If you try out one of these dirty chat up lines and she laughs then follow up with another, or go straight into a light hearted conversation and introduction.

So if you’re ready let’s dive straight into some truly funny pick up lines that might just put a smile on your face for the rest of the day.  Ultimately a “chat up line” is pretty much going to be a “one-liner and see how she takes it” affair and if it works as a great ice breaker then move on to the “hi my name is…”.  If you can make a woman laugh then you will always have her heart!

These chat up lines for women are ranked in order of “tame through to downright dirty!”

Tame-ish chat up lines:

  • I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bedrock
  • My names _____. Just so you know what to scream.
  • I would tell you a joke about my thing….buts its too long
  • Oh, you like sleeping?….Me too! We should do it together sometime!
  • What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
  • How about you be my story and I’ll be your climax?
  • I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours
  • Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
  • If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.
  • You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
  • Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
  • I own the best roller coaster in town, wanna ride it?
  • I’m a business man I work in orifices… got any openings?
  • Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
  • That dress would look great on my floor
  • Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
  • They call me “the fireman” because I turn the hoes on
  • Guy: let’s role-play, you be a magic carpet I’ll be Aladdin, now let me ride your magic carpet
  • That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
  • Are you from Japan because I’d like to get in japanties
  • You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
  • What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zip.
  • Do you like to draw? Because I’m gonna put the D in Raw
  • How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
  • I’m no weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight…
  • Hell! Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice!
  • Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
  • Come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that “pops up”
  • Are you a waitress? Cause I’m gonna give you more than just the tip.
  • I don’t know much about pies, but you sure do know how to make my banana cream
  • Can you help me? My snake is stuck in my pants and wants to see you.
  • Remember my name. you’ll be screaming it later.
  • Do you like lollipops? Cause I’ll take you to my candy shop
  • I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
  • Damn baby are you my new boss? Cause you just gave me a raise
  • I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
  • I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!
  • Remember my name. you’ll be screaming it this night.
  • I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?
  • Those are very heavy can I hold them for you?
  • How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll give you the meat
  • Are you a Jedi? Because I swear my light saber felt a disturbance in the force
  • Baby I want to let it snow all over your twin peaks
  • Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
  • Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
  • Wow! Are those real?
  • Are you cute?
  • I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  • I have a job for you, but it blows!
  • Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.
  • I’m easy. Are you?
  • As long as I have a face, you always have a place to sit.
  • My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.

Downright dirty chat up lines!

  • Do you want to see something swell?
  • Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my wand?
  • Are you a mechanic? because you should be screwing me…
  • The FBI wants to steal my p****. Can I hide it inside your thing?
  • You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you.
  • Are you cold? You should be; you’ve been naked in my mind all night.
  • I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
  • Are you bored? Cause I really want to do something to you…
  • So, Is it safe to say I’m gonna score?
  • The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
  • You’re just like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
  • Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
  • Let’s go back to my room and do some Math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
  • Could you do me a favour? Could you get on your knees and smile like a doughnut?
  • Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
  • Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me couple blows!
  • Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now it U!
  • I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragging balls across your face tonight.
  • Are you a horse? (No) Can I ride you anyway?
  • Nice legs…what time do they open?
  • Oh your on your period? That’s o.k. Babe, Pirates aren’t afraid to sail the Red Sea.
  • Thanks for you number, mines 69.
  • Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.
  • There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
  • Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.
  • Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
  • Do you take Visa?
  • Let’s play titanic I’ll play iceberg and you’ll go down.
  • I’d take all the chairs away just to have you sit on my face tonight

So there are more than enough cheesy pick up lines for you to choose from in that lot!  Try a few out depending on how you think she will respond.  If she responds with witty one liners herself then try another or go straight in for the introduction.

These are meant for fun and for many are often great ways to break the ice when it comes to meeting girls in random places.  Pubs/clubs etc. are often funny places to try these out