How To Be More Confident – The Definitive Guide
So, when your walking and talking like you are shy, awkward and have little self belief, is it any wonder that girls are not going to show any interest in you? If you want to learn how to be more confident then continue to read what may well be a rare and real “eye opener”.
We’ve all seen those guys who seem to have it all. They have the charisma, charm and generally have the pick of any woman they want. If you know a few you may have tried to be a bit more like them but never really falling into the same category.
Good news. I am going to show you how to change, and it’s far easier than you could ever have imagined. Not only that it will come easily and if followed, you will soon be talking to girls of all types with complete confidence and showing them why they should want to date you!
Have you ever had thoughts like the following:
“I always fancied Sarah Blatherwick but she hung around with the “in crowd” and I was part of the geek crowd.. way down on her pecking list”.
“That girl in the Pet store is gorgeous. I’d love to ask her out for a drink but she will probably laugh at me behind my back and I won’t be able to go in there ever again”
“I wish I could walk over to a girl, full of confidence, a big beaming smile, be all masculine and chat to her, but things would be further from the truth.”
“I am short/fat/ugly/bald/got bad teeth. She is a really lovely girl and I don’t deserve her. I’d probably make her really unhappy”.
“I should just face facts and pick someone who is happy to be with me even if they’re not the kind of girl I would usually go for.”
“Perhaps I’m not meant to be with anyone. I’m definitely better as a friend than a partner”
“I don’t know how to date. I always mess things up so there is no way I dare to ever talk to that girl”
How to become more confident
Do you know, that 99% of the limits are ones that you have self-learned years ago. Yep, your current state is due to “you”. You might have had a single rejection years ago and been so badly affected by it that you never tried to talk to another girl again.
Someone may have called you fat or ugly as a child and this may have stuck with you and affected your confidence when it came to other areas of your life. All the time you are spiralling down in confidence levels.
So now we know how things can form at an early age we need to look at how you can develop confidence.
Here are a series of things you can do to help you learn how to talk with confidence, improve self-esteem and learn how to stop being shy. These things all hold you back in life form leading a rich and fulfilling life you can remember for the rest of your life.
Step 1: Expect to be successful
Ok so this may be hard for you to get your head around, but it all starts with the tiniest of smallest of micro successes you can find and keep on having them day in day out… By magic things do begin to get better and your confidence levels increase.
Think about it. As a child, you may have had a friend who was great at football, or programming or swimming. Way better than you. With time they became to top of their class and everyone expected them to win or come out on top.
So if you used to practice jiggling as a child over and over and get better and better, eventually your confidence levels soar because “being good at it” becomes the norm. An every day occurrence.
So what you need to do is find the successes in every waking part of your day and you’ll notice over time that they increase.
Confidence comes from success. That’s why seasoned stage speakers can be very charismatic on stage and speak with authority. You have to know your stuff and live and breathe it. So whenever you accomplish something small in your life, smile and say “I’m pretty good at xxx”.
Step 2: Practice confidence
Most of us have some confidence in some things but not in others. That is how it is for most people on the planet. You need to be able to draw on your feelings of confidence that you feel when in other situations. So when you are wanting to chat up a girl, try and recall that feeling you get when you are good at “something” (juggling or a funky dance perhaps!).
Just remember that it is better to approach her to want to get to know her, rather than wanting to undress her the very first night. Most girls know what most guys are like so they will find it refreshingly different when you come across as wanting to have a proper conversation with her.
If you feel awkward, and start to clam up when talking to girls, or meeting people for the first time, it will show in the way you act, talk and look. You may come across with hunched shoulders, looking down. Instead try and imagine what a confident person would say or do or how they would act. Remember the other person will not know you, so if your head is going crazy when you shake their hand or say hello to them, trying to come across confident in a way that a confident person would. In other words “act like the confident person”.
Above all remember a wise old quote from Gandhi. “No one can hurt me without my consent”. Learning how to be more confident is not an easy overnight fix, but you simply need to re-learn how to be good at things and then take it from there. Much the same as you did when you were a kid.
Step 3: Write it down
A lot of life’s issues and lack of confidence stems from having many thoughts running through our heads. There may only be 3 to 5 major issues that we think we cannot do, but when left to ferment in your head they cause more damage.
Write them down onto paper. That way they are committed to a list of things to tackle. Somehow it is easier to tackle a list when written down. Don’t forget to scribble it out when you’ve completed that task. If you’re not sure how to, then break down the bigger issue into a series of smaller steps that you can do in order to achieve the bigger step. This brings with it a sense of accomplishment and “confidence” that you just did something out of your comfort zone. Aaaah did I just say “increased confidence”? Yes I did.